Colonel Mustard in the Library with a Wrench – No one has a Clue.

I don’t know about you, but I always thought things and life would be completely different than they turned out to be so far. I know as a kid I thought adults had it sort of figured out. You know… the house, family, job/career things? The things that make up a life… Then I got here. No one has it figured out. No one has any idea of what they’re doing or what they want.

So now what? I have no idea… everyone I talk to is in the same boat. Anyone with a college degree has the same crippling issue. A loan they’ll spend their entire life paying and no prospective job to pay for it. Or they have a job that makes them nuts because as we all know we aren’t like the generations of the past, we have expectations. We’re the most educated generation this country has ever seen and we’re the most unemployed. We aren’t the kids of the past that would just go to a company and stay there for 30 plus years. The idea of staying and doing anything for 30 plus years is kind of a nightmare to me. Maybe that’s why relationships and marriages aren’t typical for us either. That’s another topic but just a thought…

I keep going back to the question of “what in the hell do I want.” Yeah every option I think of ends up in way more chances than I’m currently willing to take because of monetary purposed and lack of opportunity in a lot of the places I’ve looked. So, I did something I don’t usually do – and I asked my parents for thoughts and advice about trying to get to the next step in life. Well they don’t seem to have any idea what to do either. They keep telling me that I have to work here and there and over there too and have a bunch of shit jobs before I find one I like. Okay – yeah – that makes sense, but I have bills I have to pay and can’t afford to keep jumping around in hopes of finding something better, anymore than I can sit at a job that makes me reel and go insane. But the world we live in is very different than that of our predecessors. I need to have a job I know. But I want to have a job that I can use to my advantage. I want something that I can use to build my resume and not just have another passing time position. I don’t want to be chained to the same desk, doing the same job for the next 40 years.

But what can I do to figure out what I can do for the next we’ll say at least 5-10 years… I want a career, not another job… I want a house of my own, not my parents… I want the feeling that the two bachelor degrees that I have aren’t worthless after being out of school for only a few years. I want the feeling that I’m actually working toward something and have a goal to achieve, rather than running in circles hoping for the next best piece of shit job.

When if ever do you get to the point of knowing what in the hell will make you happy? Do we all magically figure it out one day? Or do we all eventually settle because we can’t fight the uncertainty anymore? Anyone have any ideas? Because I’m lost.



I can feel it in the air
The energies of the past
And the air of ages lost
Surround us
Past creeps into present
Yet the eye on future tides remains
Where do we go from here?

Random Happenstance

When you’re stuck in a world full of people telling you to suck it up and deal – eventually you’re gonna crack.

Your dreams get thrown aside. You become lost and reckless. You lose your way. Only to find yourself on a completely different path going in a completely different direction.
Your life is what you make it. You have your shot and I have mine. It is what you turn it into. We aren’t on an equal playing field, as that doesn’t exist. We must endeavor to persevere. We must not act more jaded than we actually are. We must learn to take advice from any source as you never know when you’re going to receive the best advice of your life even if when you received it isn’t the moment that you actually need to use it. Remember what you learn. Keep track of the stories. Your memories, stories and adventures make up your life.

Remember that those around you are always going to help and hurt you. You can’t prove your worth to someone that won’t see the light in the dark. You are the culmination of the five people you spend the most time interacting with – this includes virtual messages. So choose wisely.

Know that nothing ever works out the way you think it will, but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. And that when life is kicking your ass and you feel completely alone – you’re not the only one. It isn’t personal. In fact it is so impersonal it’s pathetic. We all fight our own demons. Some peoples battles are harder and some easier. But how you treat someone is both a reflection of you and of them.

Be careful what you put out into the world because it may just come back to you.