So I did it, I’ve moved again. Everything happened in a whirlwind but here goes nothing. I’ve taken a job, moved back to a city I attended undergrad in. I’m taking that leap of faith in hopes of success in my future endeavors. I have friends here but I already miss those I left. As much as I wanted and needed this to happen, now I hesitate.
I hesitate because I’m afraid, but I also hesitate because I’m ready to grab life by the balls and I’m pretty sure I’m going to squeeze entirely too tight. Whoops? I want to take over my life. I want to take control back yet I’m pretty sure as quickly this has come about it’s not going to be that quick to settle down.
I’ve come to the realization that I have a lot more “time” in the day than I think. When I don’t live inside my head or with the problems I had in the city I just left, everything changes. Everything lifts off my shoulders. It is very much an out of sight out of mind thing, but at the same time I wonder if half of the problems were only problems because I made them so. I mean that’s kind of a contradiction because if you don’t make something a problem it doesn’t have to be a problem. Perspective I guess. Bit of an abstract way to think about it but meh, I’m sticking to it. I’ve been back here for a few days and am slowly remembering my way around everything here, that’s definitely two pluses on my side – friends and knowing how the hell to get places. I’ve a lot left to explore but I’m looking forward to it.
I’m not going to say that I’m putting some of the angsty writing and stories in the past because they’re surely going to come out. And I’m not going to forget those who’ve helped me and those I’ve learned from along the way but it has been a long time since I really believed in myself enough to make anything like this happen and I’m doing it. So here’s to another chapter or maybe even a new book entirely. Here’s to another check point I’ve held for myself. Here’s to a new life, new freedom, new adventures. And here goes nothing.