Thinking About Love.

How does one define love? Is it a state? Is it a feeling? Is it more than that? A friend of mine defined love as “caring about someone so deeply it’s almost more about them than yourself.” They later went on to explain, “I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone care about me as much as I care for them from a relationship standpoint.”

That lead me to ask – is love an act? Act of kindness, act of faith? If love were a person what would they look like? Do they have ten fingers/toes.. are they bruised and broken? Are they whole? How would they act? What would they do? Are they the best looking person you’ve ever seen or is it different? Is it a level or perfection that just can’t be explained? What about love as a concept vs to love as a verb?

Love to me isn’t love to you… the way you think and define it isn’t the same for me. They may be similar, but what makes you recognize it when its there? It’s a lot to think about but love seems to be the effort you unknowingly give to someone else… so if it means something different to everyone who’s to say that love can be the same to anyone. Who’s to say that you loved them more than they loved you? Maybe they couldn’t show it. Maybe they just didn’t love you the way you needed to be loved.

Through the relationships in my past I’ve gone over a million things time and time again and at the end despite it being an end, love existed. It doesn’t mean I wasn’t loved at all because I may not have felt it or seen it in such a way, but it means they loved me differently. And not how I needed to be loved.

It may seem commonplace to say that love isn’t an all or nothing thing…it’s abstract. A different concept to everyone. A different act to everyone. Both good and bad. Like life it looks different to everyone you’d ask. It is also a feeling.. something we can’t always understand, but despite all of that we tend to forget that loving and being loved may be easy feelings but not so easy acts or vise versa. We may spend our lives in an abusive relationship but it doesn’t mean love isn’t there.. it means that people aren’t capable of loving in the way that you need or I need. Not that specific person, not at that time. Fault isn’t at stake here. Blame doesn’t need to be involved. So why do we look at love and relationships the way we do? Why do we have to be so willing to place blame? Is it just the sense of making something as illogical in nature as love logical? Is it a coping mechanism? Who knows the answers and are there ever any that can be found?

 

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