Cornered

When life thrusts at you a decision to take the seemingly easy road to go back or the most definitely more difficult road to move forward, which do you take?

Personally I always seem to choose the more difficult path. Maybe I’m a bit of a masochist – fuck it – I know I’m a bit of a masochist – but what can I say I like change. My biggest issue is always feeling stuck. Stagnant. Trapped. Cornered. Call it whatever adjective you please it’s there.

I’ve always been a dreamer. Yet I get the reality of it all. The more I get older, the more I seem to realize that no one knows how to adult and life really is what you make it.

After being told this morning that I have to remember how to be young again, I couldn’t agree with them more. With everything going on in the world and all the shit being thrown at us through the media, I’m constantly seeking real information, real knowledge, a leg to stand on, stability and a handful of other things.

Being a person that has spent most of their life in a manic or depressed state realizing that it isn’t exactly me, but the way in which we live our lives here… perspective is gained. And the fact that I’ve always been “older” than I am leaves me with a lot to be desired when it comes to accomplishments.

But I digress… It is now my time whether it is the difficult road because that’s what I see for myself or cause for myself or bust. There is no going back. There isn’t ever a way to go back. Time only moves forward and it does so for a reason. It is not my life’s desires to sit here and have my soul sucked out at a job I can’t stand. It is not my desire to sit back and let everyone else bitch and moan about life. It is my desire to take charge of my own career and my own passions and find a way to delve into the depths of them both.

This is it. No more waiting. No more watching. No more hoping. It’s time for action and action starts now.

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