For those just tuning in this would be “chapter 3” of a book I started writing more than 5 years ago. I’ve decided to blog it out and see where it takes me.
Sometimes in the midst of the madness and bullshit that makes up your life you realize you are no longer the person you thought you once were. You have become someone entirely new without ever realizing or seeing the journey until after you’ve completed it. Sometimes you can find yourself in the vicious circle that makes you embody the version of what I like to call “your 15-year-old self” and you no longer have a sense of control. You know – that version of yourself where you think you are 100% sure that you’ve got things figured out, but in reality you are still clueless? That version of yourself that clings and obsesses over things that you think are a bombshell right now, but down the road you come to find that while certain events shape you into the person you currently are, other events as important as they seemed then, don’t matter anymore. Well that is exactly what I’m talking about. There are many things that we have to face in our lives that have an effect on us that we eventually have to come to terms with. And while you’re in the process of adapting to whatever life has thrown at you, you become another warped or jaded version of yourself. One thing about this alternate self is that you never know how long it will take you to break free from this new reality or if you will at all. Granted this can be good or bad depending on the circumstances, but usually once happiness is found in your life you do anything and everything you can to cling to those moments of sheer bliss – but I’m going to talk about that more later…
Now while you are this caricature of someone you thought you knew and had figured out, you feel lost and hopeless and unawares of how you have actually gotten to this point at all; but life is a journey and a process. And sadly you don’t entirely have a choice between some of the things you have to do and the things you want to do. For, the things you want to do and the dreams that you hold for yourself are ever changing. Once they have been accomplished or once you’ve realized that the dream you’ve been holding on to is no longer something you actually wish to have, things tend to change.
People can change often and completely at different parts of their lives. Their experiences make them the person they will eventually become and their passion and drive, along with other personality traits and the hand they’ve been dealt, make all the difference in the world. Dreams can be made reality and people can and do change for the better. They can however change for the worse. No one can hold that against them because we’re not in 100% complete control over our lives, which I have to admit unwillingly, but also believe to be true. There are so many things you have to do in life, but it’s not only you that can have an effect on how they affect you. You can be overwhelmed with emotion, good or bad. You can ignore it, in hopes that it goes away. You can take it all in and thrive. Or you could break down and have to slowly rebuild what you knew to be your life from the bottom up. But there is always someone there that either makes it 100 times better or 100 times worse.
Everyone faces hardship in their lives. Everyone’s hardships are completely different from one another’s. Some people have it bad, others have it worse, but it’s all about perspective. People who you think have had a terrible and depressing life may not think that of their own existence. People who grow up with everything or nothing also grow up with the greatest possibility of being jaded by the world because of what they have or don’t have. However, peoples’ experiences and perspectives along with what they have been given, shape them into seeing their version of the world.
I myself am a complete realist who is overly guilty of also being a cynic. It is because of different events in my life that I have come to see the jaded version of what the world is to me. However, as of late, I have become much less of a cynic and yet cling to reality and truth at the same time. I see what destruction the people of the world are capable of and what potentially could happen if someone or something comes along and decides to act on impulse. I am not a very optimistic person but I don’t necessarily look or seek faults in life. As a cynic I see life as a journey where you live to die. But as a realist I see the adventures and the never ending possibilities of a life completely your own, filled with what you can make of it. Oh and here’s a curveball, I’ve become more of a dreamer who is trying to seek what I think the world should be rather than the rat race is seems to become.
Peoples’ differing outlooks make the world go round. People can choose to see what they want to see and make life what they want it to be. Everyone should be guaranteed this choice, but it’s not always easy to figure out your own opinions on things that are alien to you. Everyone is ignorant about something. Meaning there is always something out there that you don’t know or understand because you’ve never specifically dealt with it. Ignorance isn’t always a bad thing unless you have the option to learn or be enlightened and you refuse to have anything to do with it.
However, sometimes you need to look deep into things and delve into the abyss of your unconscious mind and figure out where your outlook lies. Other times you need to just take events or experiences at face value and not try to evaluate their worth or pick apart someone else’s ideals because they’re different or opposite of your own. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion whether you agree or disagree with them. Being a realist or being a romantic, or an optimist etc. changes everything about how you view events or situations in the world or in your own life. These outlooks change the way you view the importance of anything and everything. Outlooks make you read the newspaper because you want to be educated about what is going on in the world. Outlooks also make you refuse to read the newspaper because it’s depressing and you’d rather not know. Nothing is wrong with any outlook on life because even within the categories of what a person is or isn’t, everyone is still an individual. Yes you can adapt and change beliefs to mirror that of another, but there are still things in your life that affect you that do not affect others. It’s those things that change everything about that outlook.
Life is a personal preference. Everything we do in life, we decide whether we like it, love it, hate it, cherish it, wish we never knew it or wish we knew it years ago. People are always going to say things that they believe in and try to stand up for those beliefs. No one should be able to tell anyone that their beliefs are stupid or anything along those lines because they are different from your own. People are allowed to believe what they want and they are allowed to have their own take on the matter. Life isn’t cut and dry and it isn’t fantasy or reality. The truth is out there whether you’re willing to accept it or not. But your reaction to it and the person you are individually makes all the difference in the world. As a person, regardless of outcome you have to dare to dream the dreams you thought you could never achieve. You have to dare to live the life you always wanted. And you have to dare to speak up for yourself and what you believe in if and when you’re being taken advantage of. Life may be a personal preference, but the odds of someone thinking and reacting exactly as you do are not in your favor. Being able to reason and logically think or talk through a situation can cause someone to think and react as you do, but things aren’t always as they seem. You have to keep in mind that people are who they are because of the things that happen to them and because of the hand they’ve been dealt. People can change their outlooks, but it isn’t always easy and it has to be up to that person.
It is for that reason, why I believe that you should never take anything too personally. People in your life, friends, family, bosses, acquaintances, etc., are always eventually going to say something to hurt your feelings whether they realize they did it or not. As much as I am a realist, I don’t necessarily believe that people live for the destruction of others by demeaning them and shattering their beliefs. I also don’t think people willingly want to hurt others (yes there are a few exceptions). Sometimes you have to take things at face value because it is what it is. You can learn from an experience and move on or you can ignore it and or miss it and still be who you always were. People are too quick to judge in general. People don’t take into consideration that everyone is struggling in their own way. You may be homeless and be the happiest person alive or you may be a billionaire and have to pay for the best counseling money can buy because you are truly alone. Outlooks on life, reactions to events and influences from the world around you make you who you are along with some DNA (yeah, I had to throw the science in there).
People aren’t out to get you just to be out to get you. If they’re out to get you then the odds are you have something they want. People don’t have all the answers. If we did, we’d be a lot happier and we wouldn’t be fighting over petty material things and weapons of mass destruction. I’m not asking for the world to be rainbows and sunshine, but mass destruction, chaos and open war, aren’t necessarily good ways to live either. Everyone is on their own journey and path to find the passion in their life and if someone stands in their way it’s only right to “fight back” isn’t it? Well to a point and within reason obviously.
The point of that is that whether you think the world is doomed to failure and life is a death sentence or think the human world has the power to find the good and make peace, is entirely up to you. No matter how you see the world, and no matter how you see yourself, you need to find your passion and attempt make a difference in the world around you. I don’t mean go out and be Mother Theresa. I mean your life is it’s own little world, it’s own existence. If you go through life not caring about anything or anyone you’re more likely to be a pessimist or a cynic. If you find something you love to do in life, something you have a passion for that just makes you happy or content – find a way to do it. Unless of course your passion is being a serial killer, in that case please keep it to yourself.
Everyone sees the world as a completely different place. We all have our own lives and experiences and we all react to those things differently. Everyone based on their outlook on life takes a different road and experiences different things. If your experiences make you who you are, and your outlook is how you see the world then they are both responsible in making up your perspective on life. Once in a while everyone does something that may seem a little out of character, but for the most part we are who we are. The things we do in life and the things we seek in life are based upon society and perspectives. Every event in your life has helped shape the person you are and how you take each event changes you for the next. Find your passion, find something in life that makes it worth while. Do something out of character once in a while, try something new. Everyone has their own opinion and their own take on any situation, try looking at it with a different view and see what happens.