Today was the first weekend day I’ve enjoyed in a long time. I spent most of the day painting wine glasses for a business/partnership I have going on with a friend of mine. I’m 2/3 of the way done and hoping to finish tomorrow. I got half of my to-do list completed. And I was somewhat busy but still letting myself be silly and have fun. I wish I could have hit the beach, but it’s a bit nipply this weekend. So maybe next weekend.
These are some of the days I wish I had when I wasn’t working. The calm enjoyable got some things done and didn’t feel stuck in any way, shape or form days. The ones where I just let things be even though I know I am not exactly where I want to be. It’s a day I don’t think about the what ifs. The could bes. Or the possiblys.
These are the days that I don’t think about depression or missing people. I don’t think about the hurt or pain of the past. And I don’t think of the things I’m missing right now. Head and heart took a day of respite and I’m almost surprised. To be honest… I think this is one of the first days without boredom I’ve had in a very long time and I’m more than content about it.
This is the type of feeling I’d love to have from day to day. Content to be where I am, somewhat busy, have a purpose to the day and enjoy the time I’m living through. I know I go crazy when I feel stuck and my job makes me feel that in spades. We all have triggers that bring out certain parts of us we wish we could either hide or live without but sometimes we can’t. Sometimes we have to let things play out. Sometimes we have to force our own hands and sometimes we have to just breathe.
I spent the day home alone, hit the store, made some food, watched some TV while I painted and just felt at ease. A little anxious to finish these glasses, but this is the most I’ve ever painted at one time, so it’s okay. These kind of days I don’t mind being here. In fact I love that I walked out my door and the sun was shining, I cranked the music and sang in the car and just did what I wanted. I bought myself some new workout stuff for the challenge I’m doing and I got some things for my glasses. All feels right with the world.. yeah that just came out of my mouth. Today was exactly what I needed and today is part of the reason I can get through the other days without completely acting on impulse. These are the days I wish to have more of, regardless of how simple. Sometimes it’s the little things that matter and we need to be the ones to give ourselves the advice or just take the step back and say, ya know what it’s going to be okay.
Gonna keep this short and sweet because it feels right. So thanks for reading along and enjoying the journey with me so far. No crazy words of wisdom. No rants or raves. Just peace today.
Day 17: I haven’t felt calm or at peace like this in a very long time and for today I am grateful.